It's so unreal.

I can't believe that I'm sitting here in lunch. It's too real, it's so bright, everything is too clear and clean to be tangible. This life is too beautiful to be mine. Is this really a life that I'm living? Is this really the world that I'm in? Is my name really Kristen? Am I really here, right now, right in this very moment?

I so wish I could see this world through blind, infant eyes. Imagine the purity that that child must live in. I want to not know what a color is, nor what a person looks like; only what he or she sounds like, how this person feels beneath my fingertips. I so wish I could rewind and make the entire world dark and black, but only for me. I think this world would be so much more beautiful if only we didn't have the sense of sight. It biases us; it distorts our view of the world. I wish I could go blind, not only so I would see the beauty that this world has to offer, but so I wouldn't have to watch this fiasco terminate itself. I wouldn't have to watch myself drift from the young and gifted person that everyone sees in me. I wouldn't have to judge by the mirror, or by appearances in general.